Zoo ke, for Nigeria?

I recently asked a friend, what the state of Ibadan Zoo is like these days... My friend cleared his throat and casually said... "Miraculously Unkept". I didn't quite get what he meant but the guy continued... "Maybe our govt should concentrate on feeding Nigerian people, which they haven't quite done a good job of so far... Zoo keeping is not a Naija thing jare! Imagine, the last time I visited Ibadan Zoo, I stopped to pee close to the main gate because I was extremely pressed and was going to pop any second if I didn't let it out. I parked my car off the road and rushed out, just as I began to water some lucky grass, I suddenly heard heavy breathing right beside me like someone with a chronic case of asthma, I swung round and behold there was a lion seated right next to me, I froze and motioned to join Usain Bolt in his gold medal extravaganza but the lion just smiled and said... "bros, unless na the state of Una country dey pursue you, me no dey chop person o...". So there I was standing and trying to assure myself that the well constructed Warri-lingua I just heard came from this lion but the seemingly harmless Leo continued in his rather civil disposition... " Abeg my brother, help me organize small suya from that mallam wey dey for junction there Jor, hunger no be better thing biko!"
'How did you get out of your cage' were the only words that could wriggle out of my mouth and the lion pointed towards the side of the Zoo where he was kept... " that cage? na today that one rust? Abeg bone those people, just help me arrange the suya and small change make I take find my way enter Kenya, where people wey understand say Lion na living-thing dey... Abeg!"

Na wa for Naija o!